Art and Fear

An artist I admire, Lyric Kinard, today on her blog commented that she faces fear "head on"; a tactic that she is always working on.   She advised that one should decide what the worst thing that could happen was, and then knowingly DO it anyway!  Push through the fear to get out of your own way.

Fear then must just be a road block to be overcome, like a hurdle.  If it was easy...everyone could do it...well....I'm not so sure.  Sometimes fear is a warning.  Like....RUN when you feel the hair on your neck rise up and smack you!  Sometimes fear is an out and out barrier for self preservation.  Heed this or die!

I have had my share of failures.  Many of them very costly!  Emotionally and monetarily.  Many had to be "paid off" over many years.  Failure is real and scary.  Fear is real.  I have a hard time telling which kind of fear I am feeling.  I need to make money almost as much as I need to make art!  I keep telling myself and anyone who will listen that I AM AN ARTIST!  My dear husband wishes it would make us some money.  He is supportive about the work, but not really about the money.

I exaggerate, a lot.  Most of my fear is self generated....will someone else like what I do.  I love what I do.  Money and the quest for enough is hiding in my fear.  It always comes down to what a thing is worth!  Did I spend too much time on a particular phase of an art work?  Will this make it so expensive that no one will see the worth of it?  Does my work have a worth?  Do I have a worth?  The cycle begins and ends with fear.

I have been working on the Sketchbook Project and I have gotten stuck by the size of the book.  I have let my "fear" that I am not worthy of participating ruin the fun of simply sketching...drawing....doodling designs that I can incorporate into my stitching projects.  DO THE WORK they say.  Art is what happens when you do the work.  Crap quotas and all that.  AHHAHAHAHAH

Back to work.